Relationships and breakups play a common role in adolescent years. In today’s digital society, we glamorize such relationships, through social media outlets from Twitter and facebook to Tumblr and Instagram. These memorialized photos of teenage relationships, such as couples holding hands or cuddling on the couch, commonly go viral on the social media circuit, tagged as Relationship Goals. This digital storytelling leads to teens covetting friends, acquaintances and even celebrities, who strive to be in the “perfect” relationship like the ones they see on the Internet.
Movies also play a major role in glamorizing teenage relationships and sometimes even teen pregnancy. Teens are constantly consuming popular trends from the Internet or cliche storylines from movies. Being a teenager myself, I see how the media could pressure us to be in relationships… but for all the wrong reasons.
American Teenagers; girls primarily, tend to believe a relationship symbolizes being loved or attractive to others. The result is that many girls feel like they can’t love themselves without assurance from others; in this instance, boys. It seems that young boys and girls are dating and forcing connections to find the inorganic storybook love depicted in movies.
Love is something some teens attest to having experienced or are currently feeling, but in reality most of it is infatuation. We glamorize relationships to the point that we love the attention and the idea of having someone around, more than we love the person we’re dating.
If you are out and looking for “love” then you are probably not mature enough to be in love. It’s something that cannot be forced and is suppose to come naturally. It’s impossible to love someone if you don’t love yourself first. It’s something special that you have your whole life to experience and shouldn’t be rushed.
It’s not wrong to have feelings for someone at a young age or take cute pictures like the Relationship Goals on Instagram and Twitter. Teenagers and tweenagers must stay mindful not to interpret these photos the wrong way. Otherwise, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend can become a number one priority, when it should be the last.
Dealing With a Breakup…
Most teenage relationships will end in heartbreak. It’s difficult to go from talking and seeing someone everyday to cutting all contact with a significant other. Learning to live without someone who was such a big part of your life is challenging but I can assure you it’s not the end of the world, it can actually be a weight lifted off your shoulder.
Breaking up with someone can open up your eyes to so much more. You feel like you can breath again in a different way. You’re not consumed in that person anymore, you’re now free. No more waiting around for texts and calls, or trying to decode mixed signals. You can finally live in peace without being attached to someone that may have even been toxic for you.
It may be a scary feeling at first because you go from being attached to someone to suddenly being pulled away. You may look for temporary solutions or people to cling to, because that’s what you’re used to. It’s important to learn inevitably, that temporary solutions are simply a bandaid to mend the proverbial wound. Learning to live unattached and fill the void with love for yourself will lead you to your true soul mate in the end.