The Addicts Mom Realizes Her Greatest Fear
Barbara Theodoiou opened one door and millions of mothers went through it. She is the founder of and runs The Addicts Mom; better known as T.A.M.
Her message is simple but it has garnered much attention; Sharing Without Shame. She wanted to create a place where mothers could connect and share about their addicted sons and daughters and do so without shame, to rid themselves of the isolation. She knew she was a very dedicated hands on mother who was very present and did all the right things good mothers are supposed to do and her son still ended up an addict. She knew there had to be so many women all over this nation who were also good moms whose children fell into the hands of the national opiate and heroin epidemic and she knew exactly how they felt.
“If your child has cancer or some type of illness, the community raises money, they send meals but if your child has the disease of addiction, they look the other way, they avoid you, no one seems to know what to say,” said Debbie Gross Longo who heads up the New York State Chapter.
Longo said she was relieved when she found the T.A.M. Facebook site a few years ago, that she found a place where other mothers knew exactly how she felt. Longo’s son is presently in recovery. Smithtown’s non-profit Kings Park in the kNOw has coordinated with and worked with T.A.M over the last year in a half in a number of ways, including educating people about the opiate blocker Narcan and fighting for smart legislation.
Although Longs helps run T.A.M. – New York State, many of the four-hundred and thirty four members are Long Island moms. They are either mothers of active addicts, a few of recovered addicts and most of addicts that have overdosed and died. The primary overdose demon being heroin. Longo and Theodoiou have become friends over the years and together have accomplished so much and with their enormous amount of media exposure, they have inspired other women to join T.A.M. to fight to legislation, to educate people about the nation’s epidemic.
T.A.M. won the Maria Shriver Architect of Change Award for 2014
T.A.M was featured on A & E Real Life Drama, on CNN, on The Fix and in dozens of media outlets around the country.
Unfortunately T.A.M. received a great deal of attention when the founder’s son went missing down in their home-state of Florida. Theodoiou filed a police report for her missing son who was also an addict. Within a few weeks, back in April, the worst news came true, they found Daniel’s body. Her son was dead. The Heroin Warrior, the one who helped millions had to return her 23 year old son to God.
Her message to her T.A.M. mothers all over the world, far exceeding a million in our nation alone read:
It is with the greatest sadness that I must tell you, my T.A.M. sisters, of the tragic passing of my beloved boy, Daniel Francis Montalbano.
He was born into my loving embrace on October 24th 1991. I loved him from the moment I looked into his beautiful eyes. As the years passed, Daniel required much attention from me and he became my very heart.
Daniel was kind, thoughtful and gentle; it was a privilege to know him and to love him. I, his brothers and sister, and his extended family loved him dearly.
Daniel was a very unique and gifted soul; he was a free spirit. He expressed that soul and spirit in his art, and in his writing. He was brilliant; he had a thirst for knowledge. At times misunderstood by others, I remained in awe of his ability to overcome defeat time and time again and to rise up strong and more determined in his quest for a success adult life.
It is because of Daniel’s pain and struggles that I created The Addict’s Mom.
My motivation was and continues to be to unite all mothers who battle the disease of addiction in a precious family member.
Although Daniel’s life here on Earth was all too brief, his struggle is over. I give him into God’s embrace, where he will be protected as I protected him.
I know within my very core that his life is my inspiration to fulfill the mission of T.A.M. Although Daniel’s life is a high price to pay, his life will not be in vain. Just as my beloved boy was able to face his Demons with determination again and again, I too, will rise up in his honor and fight the DEMON of addiction until my dying breath.
God Bless each and every one of you and God Bless my precious Daniel. – Love Barbara