By Maureen Ledden Rossi (appeared in the late Ed Lowe’s column in Newsday after 9/11)
I recently learned that one of my daughter’s former teachers had lost her brother Jonathan in the World Trade Center. Anne Marie Ielpi was her sixth-grade reading enrichment teacher and my Anne Marie was quite fond of her.
When I informed my daughter she looked distressed. I said, Anne Marie you are almost 13, you are old enough to do something for Ms. Ielpi. You can write her a sympathy note and let her know that you care about her and her family.
Sympathy notes should be very short unless you personally knew the individual, otherwise you could share a nice story about them if you so wish. Express your feelings in a simple manner and let that person know you care for them.
I don’t remember my first sympathy note but I was most certainly a young adult and had been given no lesson in writing one. Although only a seventh grader, Anne Marie is blessed with the wisdom of a person 3 times her age – I knew she was ready for this sad and very grown up task.
The news about Jonathan Ielpi made me think of my own brothers, how much I love them and how much they mean to me. Having a brother is an enormously rich experience; it affords you a close-up look at the male psyche at a very young age. You learn so many important things about life. I can change a flat and throw a right hook, and I used to know the names of all the ’69 Mets.
Having a brother actually gives you an advantage on future male relationships. Like some kind of intrinsic radar device, you are able to tell the good guys from the bad guys. The sibling bond is sacred and eternal; it’s a love like no other you will experience in your lifetime. It’s childlike in nature, the kind that fills up your whole entire heart, the mostest and bestest kind of love.
Childhood memories of brothers are like a tapestry of 8mm clips dancing through my head. Frozen in time are the experiences you shared together: Christmas mornings, the longest-ever Monopoly games, making tents with your mother’s good comforters, visits to the Central Park Zoo and riding the waves at Rockaway Beach.
I cry a million tears for all the brothers who left this world September 11th. The sadness I feel is so pervasive, it never leaves me. It shows up daily and it follows me into my dreams.
Childhood friends Mike and Jimmy Giaccone lost their older brother Joe in the WTC, Joe was with Cantor and he was my softball coach for one of the 17 years I played organized ball. He married an incredible girl name Sondra from the neighborhood. The Giaccone Family grew up two doors down from my husband’s family in Queens and Mr. and Mrs. G. danced at my wedding. Joey and Sandra set up camp in a posh NJ suburb, Joe leaves behind two children, a 13 year-old girl and an 11 year-old boy.
A grammar school friend Linda Giammonna lost her older brother Vinny on 9/11, a hero FDNY, 9/11 was his 40th birthday. He leaves behind four beautiful daughters. I also learned that another St. Kevin’s classmate Jimmy Halloran lost his older brother Vinny – FDNY. His wife is pregnant with their sixth child.
Maureen Lynch was one of my dearest friends at St. Agnes, we made the Varsity Basketball team in freshman year, and she was the first friend I met on my bus ride on the first day of school. Maureen and I hung out all the way into the disco years; we danced our stilettos off until the wee hours in search of Mr. Wonderful. Maureen is from a very large close-knit Irish family she and her five sisters were quite beautiful. Maureen lost the younger of her two brothers, Michael was also a firefighter. She always talked about her brothers. Michael was the father of two young boys when he perished.
A dear friend of my family, Darren Welty, lost his older brother Timmy, FDNY. Darren’s a producer out in L.A. As soon as the planes hit, Darren jumped in his car and began to drive across the country; he knew Timmy was down there. He searched for his brother (FDNY) to no avail. Darren’s brother Timmy had an enormous life force, and was quite a beloved character. At 34, he left behind two young children, one just a few weeks old.
As the sympathy notes to all those who had suffered the loss of a brother begin to leave my desk, I give great thought to my daughter and her relationship with her own brother, soulmates since he arrived on the planet two and half years after her. I’ve never witnessed a closer sibling bond than the one they share, people comment on it all the time. I know its Anne Marie’s adoration of her own brother makes her begin to comprehend the enormity of Ms. Ielpi’s loss. Here is what she wrote to her beloved teacher:
I am terribly sorry for the loss of your brother. I have a brother and he is my best friend so I could never imagine the amount of sorrow you have from losing your brother. As a firefighter he was a hero to many. My family and I would like to thank him for his bravery. Again, I am sorry for your loss. Sincerely, Anne Marie Rossi
What Happened To Those I Wrote About
Mr. Giaccone passed away a few years back with his heart still broken. Linda Giammona was an attorney and became a tireless advocate for the victim’s families. Jimmy Halloran is my Facebook friend but he was in my brother’s grade we were more distant acquaintances through grammar school and since. Maureen Lynn passed away from breast cancer eight months after her brother Michael died in 9/11. Her funeral was beautiful just like her. Darren Welty is still a very close family friend but has since become a relative. My younger brother fell in love with his brother Timmy’s beautiful wife and they added to their family eight years ago and now have Dylan as well as the two beautiful children she had with Timmy (my nephew and niece)